Something Fishy!!!

It started all over again! I was fine in the morning. I woke up at 8, finished my morning rituals by 9 and I even tried my outfit that I plan to wear on my sister’s engagement. I worked on something and I helped my aunt with her school stuff, procrastinated calling Bharadwaj for the 3rd time… things were boringly normal and then, out of nowhere, I started feeling hot and heavy. I felt suffocated, cold and hot… all at once! I closed my laptop, came into my room and started crying without a reason.

This is something that keeps happening at least once in 3 months and it feels terrible. I do have people who care and ask me why it happens but, do I have an answer?

NO!

Whenever it happens, I just like to shut down, and run away (or get kidnapped) for some time until I get back to normalcy. It makes me question my life. It makes me hate talking to people, especially the ones who ask questions! It makes me crave for someone who can sit with me, look at the stars in silence and share a chocolate ice cream (and there is nothing romantic about it!!!).

I thought of this as a problem for a very long time (it sure is) but then, I talked to a friend about it and he shared similar experiences. I then realized the problematic lives we lead as young adults. We have people, we hangout it huge circles but then, when stormed with mental troubles, we try to shun them away and look for solitude. Is this even healthy? I mean we put fake perfections out there on social media, but hesitate sharing our real self? Is it the fear of judgement or the fear of disapproval?

Well, in my case, it is because “I don’t really listen to opinions other than mine :P” So yeah… I am in a sensitive state of mind, and no I am not PMSing and don’t ask me why! This post is just for reading and not asking why!

P.S. I know most of my readers have this phase. Please share how you cope with this shit!

And, getting kidnapped is traumatic, I don’t intent to endorse it.