Rain Rain Come Again and make me Smile Again

I have never been a morning person but I do wake up at odd times and struggle going back to sleep! And this has been happening quite often lately… the reason… well, it could be a lot of things –

1. I am missing my personal space

2. I have no clue what I’m doing with my life, where it is headed, or if I want to take up a new direction

3. I don’t have an outlet to vent… writing used to be my way out but I make money out of it and I am unable to put my thoughts in words now 😕

4. There are so many other reasons I wouldn’t want to share.

So let me start with my story…

I woke up around 4 AM today and there are two reasons for it – 1. Too much stress (don’t know why), and 2. Rain.

I’ve been a huge fan of the rain. I have always imagined a future in the mountains, a small house with big bathrooms and a cute little garden with plants that don’t smell too much… I would be sitting by the window looking at the heavenly drizzling and stick my tongue out to catch a few of them… the radio in the background would play RD Burman or Ilayaraja or Rahman as I press the keys on my old typewriter…❤️

But today, it was so different… listening to the rain made me feel lonely… it was like the clouds were mocking me for my inability to cry… it reminded me how the dreams I let go of yesterday and how they have washed away forever… It made me feel LONELY. I have been alone all day yesterday and I never felt lonely and 10 minutes of rain did it!

I was up for about 2 hours, slept at 6:10, and woke up at 8 to get ready for my coolie… 😞

BTW

This is a phase, I may not feel like this tomorrow, and yeah, I have my sister’s wedding coming up so I may have a happy blog post soon :P